Last day of internship

Okayyyyy....Its over...end of story...I guess I can breath easier now...Its been a very touch and rough 3 months....

I know this might sound whiny but trust me...Internship sucks....Its sucks bad when it is selected for you which company you have to go to,or if you you no other options or if you are just plain lazy...Fortunately in my case,I have seem to be in situations where options are only A or B...but I always end up getting shitty choices.

Anyhow,the reason for this post is to just sum up the fear and the stress that I am either imagining or facing in real time.Because it hurts so bad emotionally I feel so numb and cant think straight.Seriously I have been to the pits of hell and back again for 12 full weeks.


People, will hurt you,no matter is your boss, colleagues, close friends and customers...It seems to me like my luck is kinda shitty where all plans never hits target and people nagging like they owned you..Its like I can go stereotypical and label everything but that would make me look shallow,stupid and racist or even sexist.

Things like:-

Malays are slow at work
Chinese are so cheap,two faced and sly
Indians are so lazy and rude...etc etc

All these words can go flying about if one doesnt control his thoughts and words from escaping his tongue.Deception is game where you try to gain through hurting people without them realizing it.Expectations where when its higher or for certain to happen have heart stopping moments which are both good and bad.


I did not know how green I was until I keep bumping myself and putting unnecessary stress on myself. all the time.I feel silly and stupid but still manage to keep calm and tell myself I am still human and I do make mistakes.I just wish I made the mistakes and people will point it out to me without being angry and forget it like 10 minutes later and be back to normal.(So much to wish for...but only in my head....oooorrr in movies)

I really wish to criticize people that hurt me like this and make me more introvert but my nature cant be changed(thank God for that).I mean surely by now like 20-40 years of living on Earth will surely teach you something right....Maybe I got it all wrong....Since I always assume as you grow older you will be wiser...But that is not always the case and things are not as it seems to be.Once again proving that humans are indeed never perfect.


I guess I have to cool down myself and compose into a less pathetic and sorry state.But I need to have and outlet to vent my disappointments in here or else I wont wanna live on Earth anymore.But still I think its too early to say that.I am young and still wanna contribute something for Earth.Yes you heard me right,I really wanna leave something behind for the human race.Something it sorely needs...even though it may cost my life.I am still searching for truth  while avoiding all this mortal pain I am suffering.I get like the weirdest people around me.Well here is the joke,my friend told me I am indeed very emotional,unstable and definitely weird...Hell yeah I agree 100%...but I guess the jokes on him because there far worse people who exihibit such behavior problems,like parents or old people.



So time to wrap it out,FUCKING TIRED,BURNED AND SULKY right now...Being human...I mean living with humans are so sucky...Like seriously,even with relatives you see conflict being subdue by 'family ties" or "bloodline" dampening the hate.Else everyone here have reasons to go APESHIT and make life hell on Earth


Peace out